Wednesday, July 27, 2011

Standing in Awe, not Aghh!

I have the pleasure to eat lunch with Trish White (T Bar M Camps- Women's Director of Sports Camp) every Tuesday. We try to catch up as kids are coming in and out of lunch. This is a time where we get to check our hearts and pray for each other.

She was sharing how it can be hard to remembering how blessed we are to work at camp. It's so easy for all of us to get the business mind-set instead of the eternally impacting mind-set. I can walk around camp "in aghh" and see what needs to be fix. (Hey coach! Where is your kids? Why is there a dirty sock on the walk way? Why are we running out of food!)

I have been working T Bar M in some way or the other since July 2005. I first came to T Bar M may 2004 as a summer coach. I had no clue what I was getting myself into. I, as any other out-of-stater, thought camp is Texas was kids jumping tumble weeds and feeding the cows. That all changed when I arrived at 2549 hwy 46 West, New Braunfels, TX. I remember thinking... "I think I wrote the address down wrong. This isn't a camp because it is too nice." Well I was wrong it was a camp called T Bar M. I remember walking around and thinking everything was AWESOME! I didn't see anything bad, I only saw the great things. I was walking around in awe.

Now I have the pleasure to give tours around camp. I love it because for the past 6 years I have come to T Bar M for work and I forgot the "Awe's" of camp. When I give tours, I am reminded how blessed we are to do this for full time.

With all of this being said it has reminded me of my walk with the Lord. I was saved at the age of 8. I have been a child of God for 21 years of my life. I don't really remember not being saved. Sadly this makes we forget the Awe's of God being my Savior, because I take Him for grated. I tend to allow Satan to get me thinking life as a Christian can be the AGHH at times. I love the refreshing people that come in my life to remind me just how blessed I am to serve our Lord!

"Let all the earth fear the lord; let all the inhabitants of the world stand in awe of Him." Psalm 33:8

Thursday, July 14, 2011

Great haircut with good truth.

While getting my haircut my hair dresser (Jennifer) and I always talk about random stuff. Today she was telling all the myths about hairstyle.

1. People have oily hair. She said the truth is people don't have oily hair, they have oily scalps. People often don't want to put product in their hair because they think it will make their hair more oily. She said the opposite is true. You want to put some kind of product in you hair because it will block the oil from your scalp to get on your hair.

2. It's good not to wash your hair everyday. (She shouldn't have told me this, because now it just encourages me a shower less.) But much shampoo to your hair if harmful. She said people feel the need to wash their hair to restyle it, but that isn't true. She said it doesn't matter if your hair is wet or dry all you have to do is apply heat. By applying heat to your hair you can manipulate it however you want. You can use a hair dyer, curling iron, straighten, rollers, etc. It just needs heat.

She told me several other things, but I don't remember there because I was too stuck on the revelation that "heat" can be a game changer in hair styles. Then that got me thinking about real life. How applying heat to my life everything changes. My Lord allows trials and hard times to happen to reshape my heart and my focus.

"In all this you greatly rejoice, though now for a little while you may have had to suffer grief in all kinds of trials. These have come so that the proven genuineness of your faith- of greater worth than gold, which perishes even though refined by fire- may result in praise, glory and honor when Jesus Christ is revealed." -1 Peter 1:6-7


There is funny saying that I like. "Christian are like tea bags, you can tell how strong they are by putting them in hot water."

Tuesday, July 12, 2011

Stand up and bow down?

I was listening on the radio today coming home and I heard the DJ give advice to people who tend to be more shy. She was explaining how to sound and appear more confident and authoritative. One piece of advise she said was to talk stand up while you are talking on the phone. You will feel more powerful and confident and people will hear it in your voice as well.

This got me thinking tonight while I was saying my prayers. I know I shouldn't be thinking about what the DJ said when I was praying. But it makes a good point. When I am standing up I do feel more in control of the situation. When I am sitting down I tend to listen more. When I am lying down I tend chase rabbits with my thoughts. And finally, when I am bowing down with my face to the ground I feel very humble and vulnerable.

I feel like too often I take it too lightly how I enter the presence of the Lord. I would say that I pray often through out the day. I believe it is a great thing knowing the Lord is a close friend and lover and I speak to him just in a casual conversation as I walk, drive and lay in bed. What a blessing that I am able to go before God and boldly ask for help, but today I was reminded how I need to also exercise bowing down to the King and remembering just whose presence I am entering into when I pray to God. I need acknowledging the High Priest/King of Kings/Ruler of everything/Maker of Heaven and Earth with my body in humble posture as I communicate more often.

"Come, Let us bow down in worship, let us kneel before the Lord our Maker;" Psalms 95:6

Sunday, July 3, 2011

Discipline shows love?

Having a child has shown me so much of my relationship with Lord. I don't think there is a day that goes by that I am not humbled by the Lord from my relationship with Jackson.

I keep noticing that after I discipline Jackson that he feels more compelled to be closer to me. I can give him a spanking and he will look at me with tears and then hold his arms up high for me to hold him. That has seemed so strange to me as an adult. If someone disciplines me the last thing I want to do is sit in their lap and be around them more. But I have forgotten the heart of disciplines. Especially from the Lord.

It just reminds me how a child sees and understand the Lord's way in a much simpler and perfect way than we do as adults.

Hebrew 12:5-6
"And have you forgotten the encouraging words God spoke to you as his children. He said, my child don't make light of the Lord's discipline, and don't give up when he corrects you. For the Lord disciplines those he loves, and he punishes each one he accepts as his child."


What an amazing reminded that our Lord sees and loves us as His children. I am challenged by my son that the next time the Lord disciplines me not to run, but to hold up my arm and sit in His lap. Many days I think I am suppose to be teaching Jackson, it ends up he teaches me more.

There is time for everything...

Last weekend we were expecting a quiet and low key weekend. The only thing we had plan was to go to a wedding. By the way, here is a friendly reminder... don't assume all wedding are in the evening. That assumption almost burned us. It was a 3 o'clock wedding. Now that we knew what time the wedding was we could now plan our lazy day around. So we did!

Everything was going as planned until we received dishearten e-mail. The e-mailed shared how the husband of a couple in our small group had a terrible 4 wheeler accident. He was is now at BAMC and fighting for his life. I personal thought really Lord, our small group already has a lot of pain happening. This is huge! After reading more e-mails and talking with people on phone our heart broke for this family.

Even though my heart was breaking, we still had a wedding to go to at 3pm. As we drove down to San Antonio with a heavy heart I was reminded from the Lord there is a time for everything.

Ecclesiastes 3:1-14
"There is a time for everything, and season for every activity under the heavens: a time to born and time to die, a time to plant and time to uproot, a time to kill and a time to heal, a time to tear down and a time to build, a time to week and time to laugh, a time to mourn a time to dance, a time to scatter stones and time to gather them, a time to embrace and a time to refrain from embracing, a time to search and time to give up, a time to keep and a time to throw away, a time to tear and time to mend, a time to be silent and a time to speak, a time to love and a time to hate, a time for war and a time for peace.

What do workers gain from their toil. I have seen burden God has laid on the human race. He has made everything beautiful in its time. He has set eternity in the human heart; yet no one can fathom what God has done from the beginning to the end. I know that there is nothing better for people than to be happy and to good while they live. That each of them may eat and drink and find satisfaction in all their toil- this is the gift of God. I know that everything God does will endure forever; nothing can be added to it and nothing taken from it. God does it so that people will fear him."

The Lord reminded that not only will my family and I go through different season of life, but so will life around us. That day we enjoyed time with friends at our house, rejoiced for friends at their wedding and went and cried with friends at the hospital and then we went shopping at Sam's because life goes on.

Friday, June 24, 2011

Stand by your man.

As many of you know or your experiences we are in a drought. Not a "it would be nice not to water my water" type of drought, but a "we need rain so the fish will live" type of one. It has only a rained a few this year. Every week I check the weather forecast to see if rain is in the future. Several times it has said 60% chance and I would go outside to do yard word to start preparing for the rain. As the day comes closer the chance of rain lowers and it doesn't rain. So now I don't get my hopes up when there is a "chance" in the forecast.

This week we had a "chance" of rain and I didn't cover Jackson's sandbox. I had almost forgotten what rain felt like in this stage 4 drought. I went to bed like every other night. A few hours later I woke up to loud noise that scared me! I jumped out of bed trying to figure out what was going on. My long term memory was coming back to me and I identified that noise to be thunder and rain. My heart was pounding like crazy with such joy.

After running to my patio and to my front porch and doing a "Thank you Jesus" dance I was finally able to lay back down in bed. Then I started thinking... I wonder what it was like to be Noah's wife. I mean think about it. You marry this guy who is the "goody goody two shoes" of the town. Then one day he comes home and says. "Hey I was out for a walk and God told me to build a boat because he is going to destroy the every living thing. But don't worry! This boat is going to be so big that we are going to have 2 of every kind of animal and our son (Yes, I know we don't have son, but we will!) and their wives on the boat with us and we will be safe. Now all we have to do is start building the boat and gathering food."

Now I have been married for 4 1/2 years now. I don't know much about Noah's wife and I have two thoughts on why we don't how she handled this mission 1. She was supportive to Noah that many woman today would focus on her instead of Noah and what God did. 2. She went off on Noah telling him he was crazy.Regardless of what happened the first day, she was there the day it started raining. Which in my mind meant God must had liked her for her to be on the boat.

Going back to laying in bed the other night. I was challenge of my faithfulness t0 God and my husband by thinking how faithful Noah's wife was. We don't know much of timeline when it comes to the story of Noah, but we do know it took 120 year from God speaking to Noah to the door shutting on the Ark. Scholars believes it took 55-75 years to build the Ark. This is one faithful servant to God and one supportive wife. Sometimes I have a little panic when my husband asks me to cook for 12 people. I would probably pass out if my husband asked to me help gather food to feed 2 of every kind for 40 days.

But with all of this being said, I can't imagine how high and how long her "Thank you Jesus" dance lasted when that first rain drop fell from the sky. (since it was the first time it had ever rained) You know the overwhelming of joy, peace and thankfulness come over her knowing that she seemed crazy following her husband, but it paid off!

I pray that I can be a faithful wife and servant to my Lord no matter how crazy it seems to those around me. (But I wont be so faithful to my weatherman)

Tuesday, June 21, 2011

Trying to get back on track

So a lot has happened since I last blogged. I feel as if I had blog a 10th of the times I said I would, you guys would be so tired of reading everything by now. My goal is now to blog often and short thoughts. So here I go.

I woke up a few mornings ago from a dream that seemed so real. I remember every detail and it still spoken to me each day. I remember being at the grocery store checking. Somehow God told me to buy all these extra grocery for the lady behind me. I told the Lord... really ALL of them! That is a lot and we don't have a lot of extra money right now. The Lord replied, Do you trust me? I said, Yes, but I kept making excuses. I heard the Lord say again, Do you trust me? I said yes.

I had the cashier my debit card and thinking please go through, please go through. It did! As I was pushing my cart to my car and thinking to myself how I am going to explain to Phil about all this money I spent and how are going to make it to the next paycheck. Then all sudden, a man comes up to me and points a gun. He is trying to rob me and I start fighting him. Then he shoots me! I lie there on the ground bleeding. I hear the Lord saying, Do you trust me? I said yes Lord. Then I start seeing visions of the lady in line Praise the Lord for providing food for family while she is the store. The Lord is telling me. Jean Marie, I know your future and I know your needs. You did not need that money. I (God) know all things and provide all things for my children. Do not worry about tomorrow. Let tomorrow worry about itself. Then all sudden I felt my pain go away and I was healed and now looking down at at everyone in the parking lot in the moment. And that is when I woke up!

Crazy, huh? This dream has rattled me. The past few weeks have been hard for me. I have been wrestling with the future a lot. I keep asking the Lord, "When?" The Lord keeps asking me, Do you trust me? With a great reminder that I do not know what tomorrow holds for me and I will trust My Lord that does know.